time to shake it up (parenting, that is)

Let’s face it—parenting can feel like navigating a never-ending storm some days, where the winds of toddler meltdowns and teenage eye rolls seem to blow in every direction. You’re probably juggling a dozen things at once and wondering how you’re supposed to raise children with strong values when just getting through the day feels like a feat.

But here’s the twist: it’s the small, unexpected shifts that can completely transform how we approach parenting—shifts that don’t involve “teachable moments” or “heart-to-hearts”.

Here are a few ideas that might surprise you, pulled from an approach to education that may be a bit different from what you’ve heard before:

1. Embrace the Mystery of Your Child

We often try to "figure out" our kids, but what if we approached them like a great mystery to be unraveled slowly over time? Instead of rushing to solve their every emotional outburst, take a step back and observe them as you would a work of art. What’s really going on beneath the surface? Maybe they aren’t trying to push your buttons—maybe they’re wrestling with big feelings they can’t yet name. Give them (and yourself) a little space for mystery. It’s less about “fixing” and more about being curious together.

2. Speak Less; Watch More

Here’s a little Waldorf secret: children learn as much by watching as they do by hearing. You don’t need a perfectly-worded lesson on empathy or a deep talk about fairness. Sometimes the best thing you can do is show up, in the moment, as your best self. Let them watch you navigate a challenging day with grace (or with humor when grace is in short supply). They’ll pick up on your calm in the chaos, or your laughter when the milk spills again. Being the living example of the values you want to instill speaks volumes more than words ever will.

3. Do the Unexpected

When things get heated—whether it’s a tantrum, a standoff, or just a rough patch—try doing the opposite of what you instinctively want to do. Instead of raising your voice, lower it. Instead of rushing to smooth over a fight, sit down and start drawing with colored pencils. Or light a candle and invite everyone to take a breath. These little, unexpected shifts can break the cycle of overwhelm. They remind both you and your child that there’s room for calm, creativity, and even playfulness in the midst of life’s struggles.

Parenting doesn’t have to be a battle of wills or a test of endurance. It’s about creating space for connection, mystery, and those little moments of surprise that can shake us out of the daily grind. Forget the "pause before responding" stuff—what about surprise before responding? You’ll surprise your child, and maybe even yourself, with what can happen when you do.

And who knows—maybe by embracing a little more mystery, showing rather than telling, and sprinkling in a bit of the unexpected, you'll find the winds shifting in your home, too. And hey, if all else fails, lighting a candle never hurt anyone.

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Need more support? Break through the noise and schedule a free coaching session with me and let’s get you connected to your Wise Self.