How to Stay Afloat When Parenting Feels Like White-Water Rapids
Parenting today can feel like navigating a raging river of white-water rapids. We're constantly bombarded with pressure and expectations—juggling work, finances, and the ever-present demands of raising kids in a digital age. It's no wonder so many parents feel stressed and overwhelmed!
According to the Surgeon General, a staggering 48% of parents report feeling completely overwhelmed by stress most days, compared to just 26% of other adults. That’s a huge difference, highlighting the unique challenges parents face in our modern world.
This past year, my family and I faced our own set of rapids when my 21-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a cancerous sarcoma. She underwent surgery to remove the tumor, losing three toes and part of her foot. It was a terrifying and heartbreaking experience, and it’s easy to get swept away by the current of fear and negativity in such situations.
But here’s the thing: even amidst the wildest rapids, there are ways to find our flow, navigate the challenges, and even discover moments of joy.
One powerful tool I practice with my coaching clients is called Appreciative Inquiry (AI)—a strength-based approach to personal growth and change. AI encourages us to shift our focus from what’s wrong to what’s strong, from problems to possibilities. It’s like grabbing a paddle and intentionally steering toward calmer waters.
Let’s apply AI to my daughter’s experience. Losing part of her foot at such a young age was a significant loss. Grief, anger, and fear were natural emotions to feel. Yet, amidst these challenges, there were also opportunities for growth, resilience, and a deeper appreciation for life.
AI invites us to ask empowering questions like:
What inner strengths did my daughter draw upon to face this challenge? Her prayerfulness, openness to the idea that this was happening for her instead of to her, and her sense of humor were incredible sources of strength (she even named her foot "Judy" after a Saturday Night Live skit).
Who were her rocks, her unwavering support system? Our loving family, supportive friends, and the amazing Baha'i and Waldorf communities played pivotal roles in her healing journey.
What unexpected gifts or lessons emerged from this experience? My daughter found a newfound appreciation for her body, a deeper connection to her spirituality, and a fierce determination to embrace life (she ran a 5k just one year after her ordeal!).
AI isn’t about ignoring challenges; it’s about intentionally choosing to focus on the good, even when life feels tough.
Now, imagine your brain as a spotlight. It constantly scans for problems—like a little worry monster hunting for things to stress about. This is called negativity bias, and it’s our brain’s natural tendency to focus on the negative. But here’s the good news: we can adjust the spotlight!
One fun way to practice this is with the Goodness Glasses Exercise:
Put on your imaginary Goodness Glasses (think rose-colored lenses, but cooler).
Make a list of awesome things in your life—a cozy bed, your child’s funny joke, or the smell of freshly baked cookies.
Soak in those good feelings! Let them fill you up and remind you of all the good in your world.
Encourage your child to try this exercise, too. Help them find the simple joys: the warmth of the sun, the smell of pancakes, or the excitement of an upcoming holiday. These small joys remind us of life’s abundance, even in hard times.
Here’s the game-changer: we don’t have to navigate these rapids alone!
Connecting with other parents who “get it” is like paddling with a flotilla of fellow kayakers, ready to share tips, offer encouragement, and keep us afloat.
My Simplicity Parenting Group Coaching Program is designed to be a virtual riverside retreat—a safe and supportive space where parents can:
Learn practical tools for simplifying family life, managing stress, and creating a harmonious home.
Connect with other parents to share struggles, celebrate wins, and feel less alone.
Discover the power of positive spirituality and its role in building resilience for you and your kids.
The program focuses on the first nine years of childhood, but I also offer guidance for families with older children to tackle the unique challenges of those years.
Here’s why this program is a lifeline for parents:
It’s affordable. For less than the price of a fancy coffee and a scone each week, you can join ($10/session).
It’s all about understanding your kids. You’ll learn to respond to their needs in ways that align with your values.
It’s a community. You’ll gain a supportive space to share, grow, and thrive.
Let’s ditch the stress and embrace the adventure of parenting together. With Appreciative Inquiry and a strong community, we can find our flow, navigate the rapids, and create a more joyful family life. You’ve got this!